How to Talk
to Your Kids
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Though well-meaning, the advice "don't talk to strangers" is ill-conceived. The fact is most children are sexually abused by someone they already know, be it a family friend, a neighbor, a babysitter, a coach - even a family member. When talking to your children, avoid scare tactics. Explain that most adults would never do anything to hurt a child; those who prey on children are the exception, most adults are deeply concerned about protecting children from harm. Establish that sexual advances from adults are against the law. This gives children the confidence to assert themselves with adults who seek to abuse them. Stress that there should be no secrets from you, especially those involving another adult. Reassure them that they will not be blamed for whatever has happened. You also want to be told if they have seen anything that disturbs them. Remind your children NEVER to hitchhike, approach a car to talk with someone in the car, or go anywhere without getting your permission first. Explain that their bodies belong to only them and that they should tell you if someone wants to touch them in places that are not okay. Tell children that some people may try to hurt them and make them do things they do not feel comfortable doing. Tell them to say no, get away, and to go tell someone. Tell children that people whom they know, trust, or love, like a parent, relative, babysitter, or even a teacher or member of the clergy, might try to do something like this. Above all, encourage children to recognize, trust and follow their instincts - and listen to your own instincts. If a situation or person makes you or your child uneasy, believe in your feelings and act on them. Source: Center for Sex Offender Management |